Winning With A Chicken: Strategies For Success

Chickens are docile creatures that can make great pets. They are easy to care for, don't need much space, and can even be kept in apartments. However, the question of how to win with a chicken on your face is a complex one. In a hypothetical scenario where one is faced with 50 aggressive chickens, protective gear such as goggles, scarves, and leather clothing could increase one's chances of survival. Additionally, understanding chicken behaviour, such as their body language and methods of hypnosis, could provide an advantage in such a situation.

Protective gear

Eye and Face Protection

Goggles or a face shield are crucial to protecting your eyes from scratches and pecking. Without eye protection, you are at risk of serious eye damage, as chickens will try to blind you by getting close to your face. Clear, impact-resistant goggles or face shields will help you maintain visibility while shielding your eyes from potential harm.

Head and Neck Protection

A helmet, preferably as part of full motorcycle leathers, will provide robust protection for your head. This is important as chickens can attempt to peck or claw at your scalp and neck. A scarf wrapped around your neck can also offer some defence against cuts and scratches.

Body Protection

Leather jackets and jeans can serve as durable body armour against chicken attacks. The thick material will help prevent cuts and tears to your skin, especially from their claws and beaks. While full motorcycle leathers are ideal, any sturdy, tear-resistant clothing can provide a good level of protection.

Hand and Arm Protection

Although not specifically mentioned in the source material, it is reasonable to assume that protective gloves and sleeves could be beneficial. Chickens may attempt to peck or claw at your hands and arms, so gloves and long sleeves made from durable materials, such as leather, could offer additional defence.

In summary, when preparing for an encounter with potentially aggressive chickens, prioritise eye, face, and head protection above all else. Goggles, a face shield, and a helmet are crucial to keeping your face and head safe. Additionally, consider wearing sturdy clothing, such as leather jackets and jeans, to protect your body from scratches and cuts. Remember, the goal is to minimise potential harm and ensure your safety during these unusual circumstances.

Chicken behaviour

Chickens are fascinating creatures with a range of behaviours that help them survive and thrive. One of the most well-known chicken behaviours is foraging, where they spend around 61% of their active time pecking and scratching the ground to find food. Interestingly, chickens will still forage even when food is readily available, a behaviour called contra-freeloading. Foraging is a social activity, and chickens will often start feeding when they see another chicken doing the same.

Another important behaviour is preening, which is the chicken's way of grooming itself. During preening, a chicken runs its beak through its feathers to realign the barbs and barbules, ensuring the feathers function properly. Preening also helps remove any debris or external parasites, and chickens will often preen each other in larger groups. Oiling the feathers is another important aspect of preening, where chickens take oil from their preen gland and distribute it along the feathers for insulation and waterproofing.

Dust bathing is another comfort behaviour exhibited by chickens. Instead of bathing in water, chickens roll around in dust or dirt to coat their feathers, and then shake it all off. This behaviour helps keep their feathers clean, parasite-free, and well-maintained. Like preening, dust bathing is a social activity that chickens often engage in as a group.

Chickens also exhibit behaviours related to mating and establishing a social hierarchy. Roosters engage in elaborate mating dances to attract hens, and hens will choose a mate based on attractiveness, health, and strength. Within a flock, chickens develop a pecking order, where dominant birds will harass subordinate ones. Chickens are able to recognize individuals within the flock and will only peck at those lower in the pecking order.

Finally, chickens display behaviours related to body care and maintenance, such as stretching, wing flapping, and tail wagging. They also exhibit behaviours to regulate their temperature, such as puffing up their feathers to stay warm or spreading their wings to cool down.

Chicken intelligence

Chickens have long been characterised as unintelligent creatures, but recent studies have shown that these birds are far from being "dumb clucks". In fact, chickens possess a startling level of intelligence, with cognitive abilities similar to those of bottlenose dolphins or chimpanzees. They are capable of sophisticated thought, communication, and basic mathematics.

One of the most remarkable aspects of chicken intelligence is their ability to communicate. Chickens make distinct sounds that convey different messages, such as alerting others about food or calling their chicks. They also exhibit self-awareness and self-control, as evidenced by their ability to wait for larger amounts of food when they know they can earn greater rewards. Additionally, chickens have been shown to possess empathy and care for their young, forming strong emotional bonds with their chicks.

Chickens also have impressive memories. Hens, for example, can recall events and objects, and even young chicks just a few days old can perform simple mathematics with numbers five and under. They also demonstrate the ability to differentiate between numbers of items and display signs of having an episodic memory, recalling specific events.

Chickens are also adept at problem-solving and reasoning. They can be cunning and deceptive, using sophisticated signals to convey their intentions. They take into account their prior knowledge and experience when making decisions, and can even subvert experiments by answering a different question than the one posed by researchers.

Despite these remarkable abilities, chickens are often not given the credit they deserve when it comes to intelligence. This may be due to the context in which humans typically encounter them, as domesticated chickens have been removed from their natural habitats and are often viewed as a commodity. However, as our understanding of chicken cognition grows, it becomes clear that these animals are intelligent, sensitive, and complex creatures.

Chicken ownership

If you're sourcing chicks, pullets, or mature hens, be sure to do your research and only source from trusted places. A respiratory virus or other diseases can spread through your flock if you don't quarantine new hens before introducing them. It's also important to limit visitors to your flock, practice good hygiene by washing hands and changing footwear before entering the coop, and quarantine new birds before introducing them to your existing flock.

Chickens require consistent care and certain living conditions. They need shelter from the elements, protection from predators, a place to roost, and nesting boxes. Most chicken experts recommend 1 nesting box for every 3 hens. A coop should provide around 4 square feet of space per bird, and if chickens are confined to the coop, it should be much larger, providing at least 10 square feet per bird. Overcrowding can lead to stress, disease, and aggressive behavior.

Good ventilation is crucial for maintaining a healthy coop environment. Ensure your coop has proper ventilation through windows, vents, or screened openings to allow fresh air to circulate and remove excess moisture and odors. Burying wire mesh around the perimeter of the coop can help deter digging predators.

A balanced and nutritious diet is vital for the health and productivity of your chickens. Consult a poultry nutrition guide or seek advice from local experts to determine the appropriate feed for your chickens based on their age and purpose. Supplement their diet with fresh greens, grit, and clean water to ensure optimal nutrition.

Chicken hypnosis

Another technique of hypnosis is to hold the chicken face up with its back on the ground and then run a finger downwards from its wattles to above its vent. This exposes the chicken's feet, allowing for easy application of medication for foot mites or other issues. Additionally, chickens can be hypnotized by mimicking their sleeping position, with their head tucked under their wing. The bird is held firmly and rocked gently before being set down carefully. It will usually remain in this position for about 30 seconds.

Some individuals, such as Steve Fairnie and Friedrich Nietzsche, have suggested that dominating the chicken and staring into its eyes can induce a hypnotic state. However, this method may also provoke the chicken to attack. Other unconventional methods of chicken hypnosis have been depicted in popular culture, such as twirling the chicken in the air exactly 20 times, as shown in the 1993 film Even Cowgirls Get the Blues.

While chicken hypnosis may seem entertaining or intriguing, it is important to consider the well-being of the animal. Some sources suggest that the hypnosis techniques can be stressful for chickens, and the potential impact on their health should not be overlooked.

Frequently asked questions