Tanking 101: Picking Up Chicks

how do you pick up chicks in a tank

The topic of 'how do you pick up chicks in a tank' appears to be a reference to the web series Red vs. Blue, specifically the second episode of Season 1, titled Red Gets a Delivery. In this episode, Tucker complains about how the Reds get a car (referred to as the Warthog) while the Blues get a tank, to which Church responds, You can't pick up chicks in a tank. This sparks a discussion about whether it is possible to pick up chicks in a tank, with some viewers of the show joking about it on forums and Reddit.

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Tanks are chick magnets

One viewer of the show certainly thinks tanks are appealing, commenting on an online forum: "I'd be all over the guy who picked me up in a sexy monster truck. A hummer would do though, big cars om nom nom nom." They go on to say, "They can't say no if a tank barrel's staring at them." Another forum user replies, "Hellz yeah... Go on girls, tell me that isn't arousing."

So, it seems that some people do find tanks appealing. But what about the practicalities of picking someone up in a tank? Well, one issue is that people can't see inside a tank, so your prospective date might not even know you're there! And how are you going to chat someone up if you're inside a big, noisy tank?

Perhaps the best approach is to simply ask about their interest in tanks. After all, as one person on the forum points out, "If she said she likes tanks", then you're in luck!

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Tanks vs. Warthogs

While some may argue that a tank is a sure way to pick up chicks, others suggest that a Warthog (Light Reconnaissance Vehicle with a Heavy Machine Gun) is a better option. However, when it comes to a direct comparison of tanks vs. Warthogs, there are several factors to consider.

Firstly, the Warthog, also known as the A-10 Thunderbolt II, is a formidable aircraft designed to take on tanks. Its unrelenting firepower includes the 30mm GAU-8 /A Gatling cannon, capable of shooting 3,900 rounds per minute, as well as a range of other weapons systems. The Warthog's brutal rounds of depleted uranium can penetrate even the most resilient tank armor, making it a deadly opponent for any tank. Its slower speed also aids pilots in lining up the perfect shot.

On the other hand, tanks have their advantages too. They provide a level of protection that the Warthog cannot match. The Warthog is more vulnerable to incoming enemy fire and is not designed for stealth or air superiority. Tanks can also carry a significant amount of firepower, although it may not match the volume of the Warthog's payload. Additionally, a tank's mobility on the ground may provide an advantage in certain terrain where the Warthog's aerial capabilities are limited.

In terms of cost, the Warthog is relatively inexpensive to operate, with a flying cost of $19,000 per hour, compared to the F-35's cost of $44,000 per flight hour. The Warthog's design is centered around its main armament, the GAU-8 Avenger, which produces its iconic "BRRRRRT" sound when fired. The aircraft is highly survivable, capable of landing without gear or hydraulic assistance, and its fuel tanks are protected by a layer of foam to prevent explosions.

Ultimately, the choice between a tank and a Warthog depends on the specific requirements and conditions of the mission. Both have their advantages and disadvantages, and while the Warthog has proven highly effective in tank-busting roles, tanks still offer their unique capabilities that cannot be overlooked. So, while picking up chicks in a tank may be a fun idea, the practicality and effectiveness of either option in a tactical context depend on the specific circumstances and objectives.

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Tanks vs. Planes

While some believe that it is possible to pick up chicks in a tank, others disagree, stating that "they can't see inside a tank". However, one person commented that a girl said she liked tanks.

Now, when it comes to tanks vs. planes, there are some considerations to be made. Firstly, in a game mode that includes both tanks and planes, careful balancing is required to ensure that one type of vehicle doesn't become overly powerful. For example, if boats or ships are included, measures must be implemented to prevent players from spamming attacks from a safe distance without having to engage with enemy vehicles. One suggestion is to restrict the number of powerful vessels to one per team.

In terms of gameplay, tanks and planes have different strengths and weaknesses. Planes can be used to counter enemy tanks or ships, but they deal 20% less damage to missiles. Tanks also deal 20% less damage to aircraft, and missiles deal 20% less damage to tanks. Therefore, it is important to consider the composition of your squad and adapt your strategy accordingly.

Additionally, it is worth noting that in certain scenarios, tanks may have limited use, such as when capturing specific points on a map that are only accessible by small boats or swimming tanks. In such cases, players must carefully prioritize their targets and decide whether to focus on countering enemy ships or tanks.

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Pick-up lines

While some may argue that you can't pick up chicks in a tank, others believe that you can. Here are some pick-up lines that you could use to try and pick up chicks in a tank:

"Hey baby, wanna go blow up the whole god damn world?" The massive engine of your tank will surely drown out the sound of any other options they may have.

"They can't say no if a tank barrel's staring at them." This line is sure to make the person you're trying to pick up feel pressured to say yes.

"You'd need a good line." This could be a good way to break the ice and make the person laugh, showing that you don't take yourself too seriously.

"Bow-chika-wow-wow?" This onomatopoeia-based line hints at the sound of a tank firing, which is sure to impress anyone you're trying to pick up.

"BOOM-chika-wow-wow!" This variation on the previous line emphasizes the "boom" of the tank, making it sound even more exciting and action-packed.

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Tucker-approved

The question of whether you can pick up chicks in a tank has been a topic of discussion on various forums and Reddit threads. While some believe that it is possible and even advantageous to use a tank to attract women, others disagree. One famous quote from the web series "Red vs. Blue" has the character Tucker complaining, "You can't pick up chicks in a tank". This has led to the catchphrase "Tank. Cabose tested, Tucker approved", implying that Tucker's opinion on the matter is definitive.

However, some forum users disagree with Tucker's assertion. One user on The Escapist Forums suggests that a good pick-up line when approaching a potential partner with a tank could be, "Hey baby, wanna go blow up the whole god damn world?" indicating that a tank could be a successful way to attract women. Another user on the same forum states that "wings are the new wheels", suggesting that a plane might be even more effective than a tank for this purpose.

Despite the humorous debate, it is important to note that attempting to pick up anyone, especially women, by brandishing heavy artillery or military-grade weapons is highly ill-advised and unsafe. In reality, consent and mutual respect are the keys to successful relationships, not tanks.

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Frequently asked questions

It depends on who you ask. Some people believe that a tank is a giant killing machine chick magnet, while others believe that you "can't pick up chicks in a tank".

One suggestion is: "Hey baby, wanna go blow up the whole god damn world?"

Some people believe that a plane is better for picking up chicks than a tank because "wings are the new wheels".

In the second episode of the first season of the web series Red vs. Blue, one of the characters complains about how the Reds get a car while the Blues get a tank, saying, "You can't pick up chicks in a tank".

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