Strategies To Transform From Side Chick To Main Chick

Being a side chick can be emotionally draining, as you are often kept a secret and are not a priority. However, some people willingly enter these relationships for the excitement, or because they are going through a low point in their lives. If you are a side chick and want to become the main chick, you should first ask yourself if this is what you truly want. You should also take the time to understand your partner and communicate your feelings to them. It is important to remember that your happiness and sanity come first, so you should not compromise your values or prioritise someone who does not value you.

Understand the risks and your feelings

Being a side chick comes with a host of risks and emotional challenges. Firstly, understand that you may be playing a role in breaking up a relationship or family. While it may start as a fling, feelings can develop, and the emotional toll of a secretive relationship can be heavy. You may find yourself feeling unhappy, trapped, and crying in the office bathroom. The relationship will likely be kept a secret, and you may have to hide it from friends and family, which can be isolating.

The side chick is often an afterthought, a "dirty little secret", and the man in the relationship may go to great lengths to keep his partner from finding out about you. This means plans may change at the last minute, and you will always be on guard, never knowing when things might be over. It can be a cat-and-mouse game, and you may find yourself playing a role in a risky affair. There is also a risk of violence, as jealous partners may try to control your life and react aggressively if they find out about the side relationship.

Additionally, being a side chick can impact your self-esteem and emotional well-being. You may experience constant emotional ups and downs, feeling excited and alive one moment, and then guilty, stressed, and consumed by thoughts of the other woman. You may also be at risk of losing friends and family and even your job if the situation comes out.

It is important to consider your feelings and whether you are willing to maintain a relationship that cannot be celebrated openly. Ask yourself if you are happy to be an afterthought and a secret, or if you want to be someone's main priority.

Be adventurous and fun

Being adventurous and fun is a key part of being a side chick, as it is likely that your partner is with you as an escape from their everyday life. Keeping things interesting and fun will be a large part of your role.

One way to be adventurous and fun is to plan surprise dates for your partner. This doesn't have to be expensive, just thoughtful. Tell your partner to keep a few hours free and surprise them with an activity that you know they will enjoy. For example, if they are a movie buff, take them to a surprise movie date, or if they love to read, take them to a bookstore and ask them to show you their favourite books.

You could also try signing up for a group activity that neither of you has tried before. Learning a new skill together, such as dancing, cooking, or a sport, can be a great way to add fun and adventure to your relationship. It will also give you something new and exciting to talk about.

If you want to be adventurous, you should also be open to trying out your partner's interests. Even if you don't end up enjoying it, you will have learnt something new about your partner, and you can find out where your interests meet in the middle.

Playfulness and adventure are important factors in a joyful and healthy relationship. So, whether you are in a new relationship or have been together for a long time, make sure to keep things fun and exciting to avoid getting stuck in a rut.

Offer emotional support

Being a side chick can take an emotional toll on you, and it is important to know what to expect. Understand that the relationship is likely not to be more than a way for both parties to have a good time without worrying about where it is going. Being a side chick is risky, and you should reflect on your emotions and how you would feel about the main partner finding out about you.

If you are a side chick who wants to become the main chick, you can offer emotional support by listening to your partner and being there for them. According to a relationship therapist, a man named Steve said, "my side chick listens to me. Like, really listens." He felt that his main partner either forgot about offering emotional support or didn't have the energy for it.

• Be supportive and encouraging of your partner's goals and aspirations.
• Be their number one cheerleader and always root for them.
• Show your love and appreciation for them through your words and actions.
• Be fun, agreeable, and less stressful to be around.
• Understand that your partner may be going through a difficult time with their main partner, and offer a listening ear and comfort.

Remember, being a side chick can be emotionally draining, and you should prioritize your well-being. If you begin to feel unhappy, express your feelings to your partner and consider ending the relationship if they are unable or unwilling to meet your needs.

Be open about your feelings

Being open about your feelings is a crucial aspect of evolving from a side chick to the main chick. Here are some instructive guidelines to navigate this complex dynamic effectively:

Firstly, understand the challenges and emotions involved in being a side chick. Recognize that you may experience feelings of secrecy, uncertainty, and emotional labour. It is essential to be honest with yourself about your feelings and assess whether this situation aligns with your long-term goals. Ask yourself if you are willing to maintain a relationship that cannot be celebrated openly with friends and family. Remember, your happiness and sanity are paramount.

Next, be transparent with your partner about your feelings and desires. Communicate your interest in evolving the relationship and express your willingness to embrace change. By opening your heart to him, you may trigger him to reconsider his priorities and act faster. However, be cautious and selective about what you share, especially if you feel the relationship is not heading in the desired direction.

Additionally, it is essential to strike a balance between expressing your feelings and maintaining a positive, adventurous attitude. Your partner may seek a respite from the mundane or the nagging they associate with their main relationship. Thus, creating a peaceful, fun, and exciting environment can work in your favour. Be the person they come to for a good time, offering emotional support and a therapeutic release.

Remember, the goal is to replace the main chick, not remain a secret. While it is important to be open about your feelings, avoid excessive complaints, criticism, or bickering, as this may cause your partner to question the relationship. Instead, focus on creating a serene and enjoyable atmosphere.

Lastly, be mindful of your expectations and boundaries. While being open about your feelings is essential, ensure that you are not compromising your values or self-worth. Love yourself first, and do not settle for less than you deserve. By valuing yourself, you set the standard for how your partner and others should treat you.

Navigating the transition from side chick to main chick requires emotional honesty, strategic communication, and self-preservation. Remember always to prioritize your happiness, well-being, and long-term goals in the process.

Put yourself first

Being a side chick can be emotionally taxing, and it is important to put yourself first.

Firstly, it is crucial to understand the nature of your relationship and the role you play. Your partner is likely not looking for another main significant other, and you should be mindful of this dynamic. You should not feel obliged to constantly check in with them or worry about the relationship progressing further. Instead, focus on having a good time and keeping things light and interesting.

Putting yourself first means prioritizing your own needs, well-being, and personal growth. It is about ensuring your happiness and fulfilment while maintaining a strong sense of individual identity and autonomy. You should not neglect your own needs to cater to those of your partner. This approach promotes healthy communication, mutual respect, and a balanced dynamic in the relationship.

Practising self-care is essential. Take an active role in protecting your well-being and happiness. Engage in activities that nurture your sense of self outside of the relationship. Have your own hobbies, desires, and a strong sense of who you are beyond your partner. This cultivates a healthy dynamic and ensures that the relationship is not your sole source of happiness.

Remember, you cannot give what you do not have. Filling your own cup first allows you to show up as your best self and give to your partner from a place of overflow rather than depletion. This enables you to be a better, more supportive partner without falling into codependency.

If you find yourself feeling unhappy or unappreciated, it is important to address these feelings. Do not sacrifice your wants, needs, or happiness for your partner. If you are unable to meet your own needs within the relationship, it may be time to consider moving on and prioritizing your own well-being.

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