The Guy's Cool Chick: How To Be One

Being the cool chick that guys want to be with involves a combination of confidence, style, and a go-with-the-flow attitude. It's about exuding positive energy, being easy to get along with, and not being high-maintenance. The cool chick is often portrayed as someone who is chill, laid-back, and understanding, and who doesn't make a guy feel threatened. However, this performance of coolness can be alienating and lead to suppressing one's true feelings and interests. Ultimately, it's important to be yourself and express your genuine thoughts and emotions, rather than projecting a manufactured image of cool.

Be confident, even if you don't feel it

To be the "cool chick" that guys are drawn to, you need to exude positive emotional energy that men can relate to. You need to be confident. But what does that even mean?

Confidence is a feeling, an emotional state, and a state of mind. It is the perception that you lack nothing and are equipped with everything you need for the present and future. Confident people are comfortable with rejection and being vulnerable. They are not afraid to express themselves honestly and take risks. They are comfortable with getting hurt and are willing to leave bad situations.

But what if you don't feel confident? You can still act confident by being sure of yourself and your words. Slow down your speech and avoid using a question inflection in your statements. Speak in an authoritative tone. Ask questions to buy time and prepare yourself to present your thoughts.

Confidence is not about changing who you are but about being a bit more sure of yourself and what you know. Fake it until you make it. Take risks and be courageous. The more you practice courage, the more confident you will become.

Be easygoing and open-minded

Being easygoing and open-minded are generally considered positive qualities. Easygoing people tend to be relaxed, flexible, and adaptable in their approach to life. They take things in stride and don't get easily upset or stressed out by challenges or unexpected events. They are also often open-minded, non-judgmental, and accepting of others, making them great companions and team players.

To be easygoing and open-minded with a guy, here are some things to keep in mind:

• Be relaxed and flexible: Easygoing people tend to have a calm and carefree demeanor. They go with the flow and avoid conflict, making them likable and approachable. They may struggle with setting boundaries and asserting themselves, so it's important to find a balance between being easygoing and standing up for yourself when necessary.
• Be open-minded and non-judgmental: Easygoing people are often open-minded, which means they are willing to consider other perspectives and appreciate diverse viewpoints. They don't take themselves too seriously and have a good sense of humor. They are receptive to new experiences and ideas, even when they disagree with them.
• Avoid conflicts and prioritize harmony: Easygoing people tend to prioritize maintaining harmony in their relationships and interactions. They may avoid difficult conversations or expressing their true feelings to keep the peace. However, it's important to be honest and authentic while still maintaining a positive and carefree image.
• Be approachable and friendly: Easygoing people are usually friendly and easy to get along with. They are good companions and team players, making them enjoyable to be around. They may have a fear of being judged or criticized, so they focus on being social and getting along with others.
• Have options and a satisfying life: "Cool girls" have their own interests and things to do that keep them satisfied. They don't rely on others for their happiness and don't feel the need to complain or seek attention if they're left out. They make their own decisions and prefer that others do the same, rather than trying to control or influence them.

Overall, being easygoing and open-minded involves having a positive, flexible, and non-judgmental attitude towards life and others. It's about going with the flow, considering different perspectives, and maintaining a calm and harmonious demeanor in relationships and interactions. While it's important to be yourself and express your true feelings, being easygoing can help create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere in social situations and connections with guys.

Don't be a people-pleaser

To be the "cool chick" that guys want to be with, it is important to understand that being a people-pleaser can be detrimental to your relationships and emotional well-being. While it may seem counterintuitive, not being a people-pleaser can make you more attractive and help you develop healthier connections with others. Here are some reasons why you shouldn't be a people-pleaser, especially when it comes to being "the cool chick" that guys are drawn to:

Authenticity and Self-Expression

Don't hide your true feelings and preferences to accommodate others. Being yourself and expressing your genuine interests and opinions are essential for building authentic connections. If you pretend to like something just to please a guy, you might find yourself resenting him later for not knowing the real you. For example, if you pretend to like a certain type of music or movie to seem "cool," you're not allowing him to get to know the person he would potentially be dating. Being authentic and honest about your interests and passions is more likely to create a genuine connection and attract someone who truly appreciates you for who you are.

Avoid Creating Resentment

People-pleasing often leads to resentment, both for yourself and in your relationships. When you constantly prioritize others' needs and wants over your own, you may feel unappreciated, overwhelmed, and exhausted. This can lead to feelings of bitterness and anger, which can negatively affect your relationships. By setting boundaries and advocating for yourself, you can avoid this buildup of resentment and create more honest and fulfilling connections.

Maintain Your Self-Worth and Independence

When you focus solely on pleasing others, you may find yourself giving up your power, happiness, and freedom. It's important to recognize that your worth is not dependent on how much you can do for others. You have value as an individual, and your needs and desires matter. By prioritizing your own well-being and independence, you can build healthier relationships based on mutual respect and understanding.

Avoid Enabling Unhealthy Behavior

Constantly pleasing others can enable unhealthy behavior and create dependent relationships. When you always cater to someone else's needs, you may be preventing them from developing essential life skills and the ability to cope with discomfort or adversity. Additionally, they may become accustomed to having their needs met without considering your own, leading to an imbalanced and unhealthy dynamic. It's important to encourage independence and mutual support in your relationships.

Prioritize Your Own Happiness

As a people-pleaser, you may find yourself sacrificing your own happiness and well-being to fulfill others' expectations. However, this can lead to a sense of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment. By prioritizing your happiness and pursuing your interests and passions, you can attract people who appreciate and support your authentic self. Remember, it's important to set boundaries and make assertions when you have opinions and ideas that differ from those around you.

Remember, being the "cool chick" is about exuding positive emotional energy, being yourself, and creating genuine connections. By avoiding the pitfalls of people-pleasing, you can develop more fulfilling relationships and attract people who appreciate the real you.

Share interests

Sharing interests is a great way to connect with a guy and be the "cool chick". It's a way to show that you are into the things he is into, and it can create a deeper level of attraction and connection.

When you share interests with a guy, it shows that you are willing to step into his world and explore the things he enjoys. This can be anything from sports to movies, music, books, or even video games. For example, if he's into football, you could suggest a friendly game or watch a match together. If he's a gamer, you could ask him to teach you how to play his favourite game.

However, it's important to remember that sharing interests doesn't mean losing yourself or pretending to like something you don't. It's about finding common ground and being open to new experiences. For instance, if he's into a band you've never heard of, give them a listen, and if you like them too, great! You can bond over your shared taste. But if you don't like them, that's fine too – you can still ask him about his favourite songs and show an interest in why he loves them.

The key is to be genuine and authentic. If you're passionate about something, share that enthusiasm. Guys find it attractive when a woman knows and loves the things that interest them, and being able to talk about your passions will create a deeper connection. It's also okay to have different interests and hobbies. Relationships are about compromise and supporting each other's interests, even if they're not your own.

So, don't be afraid to ask questions, show an interest, and be open to trying new things. By sharing and connecting over mutual interests, you'll be well on your way to being the "cool chick" he wants to hang out with.

Be positive

Positivity is an important trait to have when trying to be the cool chick with a guy. Here are some ways to cultivate and maintain a positive attitude:

First, focus on your confidence. Confidence is a very attractive trait and can make you seem more approachable and interesting. One way to build confidence is to engage in activities that interest you and make you happy. This could be trying new hobbies, such as sports or crafting, or even just taking time to think about what you like and dislike. By understanding yourself better, you can feel more confident in your interests and opinions, which can make you more positive in your interactions with guys.

Another way to be positive is to express your feelings and set clear boundaries. While it may seem easier to go with the flow and be the ""cool girl" who never complains, bottling up your feelings can lead to resentment and confusion. Instead, be open and honest about your feelings, needs, and expectations from the start. This will help you avoid misunderstandings and ensure that your partner respects your boundaries.

Additionally, try to be adventurous and share interesting stories. Guys often find it attractive when a girl can talk about her experiences and adventures. Whether it's travelling, trying new foods, or taking up a new hobby, having stories to share can make you seem more positive and engaging.

Finally, remember to stay true to yourself. While it's important to maintain a positive attitude, don't feel like you need to change your personality to please others. Be authentic and let your unique qualities shine through. By being yourself, you'll attract guys who appreciate you for who you truly are, and this genuine positivity will be much more attractive than any act.

Overall, being positive involves a combination of confidence, open communication, honesty, and a willingness to try new things. By embracing these traits, you can become a cool chick who guys will find irresistible!

Frequently asked questions