Sophie Bennett
If you're looking to improve your oral sex skills, it's important to remember that gag reflexes are normal and natural. While you can't get rid of your gag reflex, there are ways to desensitize it. This includes training with a toothbrush, finger, or sex toy to push past your comfort zone. You can also try breathing techniques, like breathing out when you go down, or fake yawning to raise your soft palate. If you're performing oral sex, try lying on your back with your head draped over the edge of the bed, so your throat is straight and easier to penetrate. Focus on the tip of the penis with your tongue, and don't be afraid to use your hands as well. Remember, deep-throating is not essential for a good blow job, and communication with your partner is key.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| How to reduce gag reflex | Use a toothbrush or scraper to brush your tongue when brushing your teeth |
| Place your pointer finger on the tip of your tongue, hold and breathe deeply in through your nose until you feel relaxed, then move your finger back a centimetre at a time until you reach the trigger point for your gag reflex. Keep your finger there and focus on your breathing until the reaction starts to subside | |
| Make a fist with your left hand by wrapping your fingers around your thumb and squeeze down on your thumb while practising | |
| Try fake yawning—this raises your soft palate and uvula, reducing the gag reflex | |
| Lie on your back with your head draped over the edge of the bed and have your partner approach you while standing or kneeling | |
| How to perform oral sex | Use your tongue—flicking or swirling it over the tip of the penis |
| Put the tip of the penis in your mouth and use your hand to stimulate the base | |
| Let saliva drip out of your mouth to lubricate the penis so your hand can do more work | |
| Twisting your hand while moving it up and down can be stimulating | |
| Alternate between different speeds and pressures | |
| Touch, lick, or suck your partner's balls | |
| Incorporate accessories like blindfolds |
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What You'll Learn
Desensitising your gag reflex
The gag reflex is a normal bodily response that helps prevent choking or swallowing something harmful. However, for some, this reflex can be overactive and cause discomfort in various situations, such as during dental procedures or oral sex. If you experience a sensitive gag reflex, there are several desensitisation techniques you can try to reduce or eliminate it.
Gradual Exposure
Gradual Exposure
Gradually exposing yourself to the areas that trigger your gag reflex can help desensitise your response over time. Use a soft-bristled toothbrush to gently touch the sensitive areas of your mouth, such as the back of your tongue. Start by brushing these areas for 15 to 30 seconds. Repeat this process daily, gradually increasing the duration and moving further back as your tolerance improves. This technique usually takes about a month and can help you become accustomed to gagging triggers.
Breathing Techniques and Body Positioning
Proper breathing and body positioning can also help reduce your gag reflex. Deep, slow breaths from the diaphragm activate your parasympathetic nervous system, reducing stress and relaxing your body. Elevating your legs slightly and sitting upright or leaning forward during oral care can also help minimise the gag reflex.
Distraction Techniques
Distraction Techniques
Distracting yourself during triggering activities can be an effective way to shift your focus away from the gag reflex. Try listening to music, watching TV, or using stress-relief gadgets like squeeze balls. Mental activities such as counting backward or visualising calming scenarios can also help.
Hypnotherapy and CBT
If your gag reflex is triggered by psychological factors, hypnotherapy and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) can help address the mental aspects of the problem. These techniques can reprogram your response to oral stimulation and manage dental anxiety or stress-based triggers.
Acupuncture and Acupressure
Acupuncture and Acupressure
Acupuncture has been shown to be an effective tool in managing the gag reflex. Applying pressure to certain parts of the body, such as the palm or left thumb, can encourage self-healing and potentially change trigger points.
While these techniques can help desensitise your gag reflex, it's important to remember that your gag reflex is a protective mechanism. Consult with your doctor or dentist before attempting to reduce or eliminate it, as they can provide professional advice and guidance based on your individual needs.
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Oral sex positions
Oral sex is an important part of foreplay and can be an enjoyable sexual act in itself. It is a great way to explore your partner's body and discover what they like.
The 69 Position
This position involves simultaneous oral pleasure for both partners. It can be done in several ways, including the traditional way, where one partner lies on their back with their legs spread apart, while the other partner kneels or lies in front of them. It can also be done with both partners lying on their sides in a triangle formation, or with one partner holding the other upside down while standing. The 69 position can be a fun way to mix things up and provide mutual pleasure.
Cunnilingus Variations
For those who enjoy performing oral sex on a vulva, here are some variations to try:
- Place a pillow under the receiver's hips to tilt their pelvis up. The receiver can bend their knees and place their feet on the giver's shoulder blades, allowing for a strong, upward stroking motion.
- The giver kneels on the floor, while the receiver lies on the edge of the bed with one leg raised and supported by wrapping their hands around their thigh. This provides access to the clitoris and allows the receiver to add movement to guide the giver.
- The receiver sits on a chair with their legs wide open, allowing the giver to amplify their oral efforts with hand movements.
Fellatio Techniques
When performing oral sex on a penis, it is important to use your hands and fingers in conjunction with your mouth. Wrap your hand around the shaft and stroke up and down while licking, sucking, and swirling your tongue around the head and upper shaft. Teasing the shaft with your mouth while squeezing and stroking the head can increase pleasure. Don't forget about testicle and scrotum play, as this can encourage blood circulation to the genitals and enhance the experience.
Grapefruiting
This technique involves using a hollowed-out grapefruit to run up and down the shaft while sucking on the head. It adds a unique sensation to the experience.
Remember, communication is key. Ask your partner what they enjoy and be vocal about what works for you.
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Using accessories
There are many different types of gags, including ball gags, bit gags, O-ring gags, and penis gags. Gags can be used to restrict the submissive's ability to move or speak, and some people find this very arousing. Gags can also be used to keep noisy submissives quiet during impact play or torture, or for control or humiliation. Some people are sexually aroused by the sound gagged people make when they try to speak, or by seeing them drool uncontrollably.
When using accessories, it is important to prioritize safety. Gags can impact breathing, so it is recommended to avoid using them if your partner has a cold, sinus infection, allergies, or any other condition that makes it difficult to breathe through the nose. Additionally, gags should not be used if your partner is ill, as vomiting and choking can further block the airway. It is crucial that the gagged partner is never left alone, as they may need help removing the gag or signalling distress.
Before using a gag, partners should discuss their expectations and set a time limit for its use. They should also establish a safe signal, such as a hand signal, a tap on the back, or an audible cue, to indicate that the gag should be removed.
In addition to gags, other accessories can be incorporated into the experience. Blindfolds can enhance the submissive's feeling of powerlessness and heighten their senses. Handcuffs or rope bondage can further restrict the submissive's movement. Scarves, duct tape, or bondage tape can also be used as gags or to restrain the partner.
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Hand techniques
It's important to note that gagging is a natural response to prevent choking, and while it can be desensitized with practice, it cannot be turned off. Mutual consent and communication are crucial when engaging in any sexual activity involving gagging. Before attempting to gag, partners should discuss how the gagged person will communicate any distress. This can be done through hand signals or other gestures, such as stomping their foot or nodding their head.
Now, for the hand techniques:
If you have a small mouth or a sensitive gag reflex, incorporating your hands can be a great way to provide additional stimulation and free up your mouth to focus on other areas. You can wrap your hand around the base of the penis and slowly stroke up and down, using more pressure than you would be able to achieve with just your mouth. You can also twist your hand as you move it up and down for added sensation. If you want to get creative, try using both hands by placing one hand over the other and sliding them up and down in tandem.
Saliva or lubricant can be used to enhance the experience and provide additional moisture. If you want to get your mouth involved, try dripping some saliva onto the penis to lubricate it, then use your tongue on the tip while twisting your hand up and down.
Another technique is to make a "human cock ring" by placing your hand around the balls and gently pulling down, which can increase the protrusion of the shaft. You can also alternate between different techniques, such as squeezing firmly and then switching to a light touch with your fingers.
If you want to train your gag reflex to be less sensitive, there are a few methods you can try. One is to use your toothbrush or a scraper to brush your tongue when brushing your teeth, which will help desensitize the reflex over time. Another technique is to place your pointer finger on the tip of your tongue and hold it there while breathing deeply through your nose until you relax. Then, slowly move your finger back towards the trigger point of your gag reflex and hold it there, focusing on your breathing until the reaction subsides. You can also try making a fist by wrapping your fingers around your thumb and squeezing down to apply pressure to the gag reflex.
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Tongue techniques
When performing oral sex on a man, the tip of the penis, especially the glands, has a lot of nerve endings. Thus, using your tongue to stimulate the penis head can be very pleasurable. You can try swirling your tongue around the head of the penis, keeping your tongue wide and flat, and licking the seam on the underside of the head. You can also try flicking or swirling your tongue over the tip of the penis, applying soft pressure with your tongue against the penis as you move your mouth up and down the shaft. For a change of pace, focus your tongue on the frenulum, the sensitive band of skin on the underside of the penis head.
If you have a sensitive gag reflex, there are some techniques to help manage this. You can breathe out as you go down, which can help prevent gagging. Using your hand in conjunction with your mouth can also be helpful; wrap your hand around the base of the penis and slowly stroke up and down while licking or sucking the head. This way, you don't have to put the penis too far into your mouth.
When performing oral sex on a woman, the clitoris is key. It is a woman's most sensitive erogenous zone, and when stimulated correctly, can lead to intense orgasms. You can start by teasing her by lightly circling the clitoris with your tongue and then take it into your mouth, gently sucking while softly flicking your tongue over the area. Using your hands in conjunction with your tongue can also be stimulating for your partner; you can use your hands to apply pressure to her inner thighs in a massaging motion or thrust your fingers into the vagina for more complete stimulation.
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Frequently asked questions
There are several ways to prevent gagging during oral sex. Try breathing out when you go down, or breathing in and out through your nose. You can also try fake yawning, which raises your soft palate and uvula, or squeezing your left thumb, which is said to inhibit the gag reflex.
To desensitise your gag reflex, you can try the following:
- When brushing your teeth, use your toothbrush or a scraper to brush your tongue.
- Place your finger or a phallic-shaped sex toy at the back of your throat and hold it there until you relax.
- Place your pointer finger on the tip of your tongue and move it back until you find the spot that triggers your gag reflex. Focus on your breathing until the reaction starts to subside.
If you have a sensitive gag reflex, you can try the following:
- Focus on using your tongue, which can provide plenty of stimulation.
- Put the tip of the penis in your mouth and use your hand to stimulate the shaft.
- Try a different position: lie on your back with your head draped over the edge of the bed and have your partner stand or kneel. This straightens your throat and makes it easier to penetrate.
Here are some general tips for performing oral sex on a penis:
- Make eye contact.
- Play with your partner's balls, taint, or anus (if they're OK with it).
- Alternate the speed and pressure.
- Use some accessories, like a blindfold.
- Don't use your teeth (unless your partner is into that).
