Sophie Bennett
Why did the chicken cross the road? is a classic joke that has become a cultural touchstone, with a simple answer: To get to the other side. The joke has been adapted and changed numerous times, often as satirical answers in the style of famous figures. For example, a current physicist at Harvard has imagined how famous scientists might answer the question. Here are some examples:
> Robert Millikan: It didn't. It made it part way and then just sort of hovered there, apparently feeling an equal pull in both directions.
>
> Werner Heisenberg: Because I made darn sure it was standing right next to me on this side.
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> Erwin Schrodinger: The chicken doesn’t cross the road. Rather, it exists simultaneously on both sides…..just don’t peek.
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What You'll Learn
Interpretations of the joke by philosophers
Jacques Derrida
Derrida might argue that the joke is open to numerous interpretations, all of which are equally valid. The author's original intent is irrelevant because structuralism is dead.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Emerson's take on the joke is that the chicken didn't merely cross the road but transcended it. This interpretation adds a layer of depth to the joke, suggesting that the chicken's action was more than just a physical act of crossing.
Mark Twain
Twain's interpretation is a play on words, suggesting that the news of the chicken crossing the road has been "greatly exaggerated." This adds a humorous twist to the joke, playing with the idea of sensationalism and potentially commenting on media or gossip.
Friedrich Nietzsche
Nietzsche's interpretation of the joke may delve into the philosophical concept of the gaze and the relationship between the observer and the observed. By stating, "Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you," Nietzsche suggests that the chicken's action of crossing the road is a result of its engagement with the world around it.
Salvador Dali
Dali's response, "The Fish. The Sphinx You tell me," suggests a surrealist interpretation. By invoking the image of the sphinx, Dali may be alluding to the idea of a riddle within a riddle, adding a layer of complexity to the joke.
Thomas de Torquemada
Torquemada's interpretation takes a more aggressive approach. By saying, "Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out," he implies that he would use coercive methods to extract the reason from the chicken. This interpretation adds a dark twist to the joke, commenting on the lengths one might go to obtain answers.
The interpretations of this joke by philosophers showcase the diverse ways in which the simple setup can be examined and deconstructed, often with a humorous or thought-provoking twist.
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Responses from physicists
A current physicist at Harvard has imagined how famous scientists might answer the question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Here are some responses that physicists might give:
Wolfgang Pauli
> There was already a chicken on this side of the road.
Carl Sagan
> There are billions and billions of such chickens, crossing roads just like this one, all across the universe.
Jean-Dernard-Leon Foucault
> What’s interesting is that if you wait a few hours, it will be crossing the road a few inches back that way.
Robert Van de Graaf
> Hey, doesn’t it look funny with all its feathers sticking up like that?
Albert Michelson and Edward Morley
> Our experiment was a failure. We could not detect the road.
Ludwig Boltzmann
> If you have enough chickens, it is a near certainty that one of them will cross the road.
Richard Feynman
> There was this good-looking rooster on the other side of the road, and he figured he’d skip all the games and just get to the point. So he asked the chicken if she’d like to come over to his side, and she said sure.
Enrico Fermi
> In estimating to the nearest power of 10 the number of chickens that cross the road, note that since fractional chickens are not allowed, the desired power must be at least zero.
Erwin Schrodinger
> The chicken doesn’t cross the road.
Albert Einstein
> Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
> The chicken did not cross the road... it transcended it.
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Responses from other historical figures
Aristotle: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Hippocrates: Because of an excess of phlegm in its pancreas.
Galileo Galilei: The chicken crossed the road because it put one foot in front of the other and took a sufficient number of steps to traverse a distance greater than or equal to the road’s width. Note that the reason is not because the earth is the centre of the universe.
Robert Millikan: It didn't. It made it part way and then just sort of hovered there, apparently feeling an equal pull in both directions.
Pierre de Fermat: Forget about why. I’ll show you how it can get there in the least amount of time.
Gustav Kirchhoff: It actually crossed the road twice, due to a strange desire to form a closed loop.
Louis Farrakhan: The road, you see, represents the black man. The chicken 'crossed' the black man in order to trample him and keep him down.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road?
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: Our soon-to-be-released Chicken '98 will not only cross roads but will also lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
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Responses from political figures
Aristotle: It is in the nature of chickens to cross roads.
Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.
Saddam Hussein: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Ronald Reagan: I forget.
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard M. Nixon: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road.
Machiavelli: The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.
Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
Moses: And God came down from the Heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much rejoicing.
Jerry Seinfeld: Why does anyone cross a road?
Freud: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
Bill Gates: Our soon-to-be-released Chicken '98 will not only cross roads but will also lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Oliver Stone: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?"
Darwin: Chickens, over great periods of time, have been naturally selected in such a way that they are now genetically disposed to cross roads.
Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road moved beneath the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: The chicken did not cross the road... It transcended it.
Norman Ramsey: I don’t know why, but I do know that it took 4.71988362706153 seconds to get there.
Neils Bohr: In attempting to answer the question by observing the chicken, I collapsed its wave function to the other side.
Gustav Kirchhoff: It actually crossed the road twice, due to a strange desire to form a closed loop.
Louis de Broglie: It always seems to flap its wings an integral number of times before it comes back.
Galileo Galilei: The chicken crossed the road because it put one foot in front of the other and took a sufficient number of steps to traverse a distance greater than or equal to the road’s width. Note that the reason is not because the earth is the centre of the universe.
David Gross, H. David Politzer, Frank Wilczek: The road is not wide. And at short distances, a chicken is free to do whatever it wants.
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Responses from fictional characters
Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
Fox Mulder: You saw it cross the road with your own eyes. How many more chickens have to cross the road before you believe it?
Richard Feynman: It’s all quite clear from this simple little diagram of a circle with lines poking out of it. There was this good-looking rooster on the other side of the road, and he figured he’d skip all the games and just get to the point. So he asked the chicken if she’d like to come over to his side, and she said sure.
Arthur Compton: There were a bunch of chickens waving at me on this side of the road, but then a car came along and they all scattered to the other side. The funny thing is that the ones that ended farthest away were still waving at me a few minutes later. So apparently, the ones that scattered the most had the longest waves.
Robert Millikan: It didn't. It made it part way and then just sort of hovered there, apparently feeling an equal pull in both directions.
Erwin Schrödinger: The chicken doesn’t cross the road. Rather, it exists simultaneously on both sides…..just don’t peek.
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Frequently asked questions
Here are some answers famous scientists might give:
- Robert Millikan: It didn't. It made it part way and then just sort of hovered there, apparently feeling an equal pull in both directions.
- Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.
- Erwin Schrödinger: The chicken doesn’t cross the road. Rather, it exists simultaneously on both sides…..just don’t peek.
The joke has been adapted to include other famous figures, such as politicians, philosophers, and fictional characters. Here are some examples:
- Aristotle: It is the nature of chickens to cross roads.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.
- Captain James T. Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
The joke is a form of anti-humour, where the setup leads the listener to expect a punchline, but they are instead given a simple statement of fact. This curious structure has made the joke iconic and it has been repeated and changed numerous times over history.
