Jake Harper
In her article titled Don't Tell Me to Calm Down, the author, a Black woman, talks about her experiences of growing up in predominantly white institutions (PWIs) and the pressure she felt to assimilate and not be too much. She discusses the internalized anger she felt as a result of never feeling represented in the media she consumed and the subsequent disappointment of not fitting into the American Teenage Dream. The author also touches on the stereotype of the strong Black woman and how this image can be damaging as it can lead to Black women's struggles being overlooked.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| Theme | Anger and frustration at being told to "calm down" and not express emotions |
| Audience | Black women, particularly those who attend predominantly white institutions |
| Message | A rejection of the expectation for Black women to be "strong" and not show vulnerability |
| Tone | Assertive, rebellious |
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What You'll Learn
The pressure to assimilate in predominantly white institutions
Assimilation is a "process of interpretation and fusion" from another group or person, which may include memories, behaviours, and sentiments. It can happen spontaneously or forcibly, with the latter being the case for Indigenous groups during colonialism. Forced assimilation is often unsustainable, leading to revolts and collapses of power. An example of voluntary cultural assimilation is seen during the Spanish Inquisition, when Jews and Muslims publicly accepted the Roman Catholic Church as their religion but continued to privately practise their traditional religions.
Black students in PWIs may feel the pressure to assimilate and avoid being perceived as the "angry Black girl" or "angry Black woman". They may feel that they cannot be "too expressive" or "too bold". This pressure to assimilate can also be seen in the media, where Black girls and women are often side characters, reinforcing the feeling of not being fully accepted.
The effects of assimilation can be harmful, leading to depression, homesickness, and even mental illness. Instead of expecting immigrants and minorities to adapt to American culture, it is important to create a more welcoming environment that embraces different cultures, languages, and identities. This includes listening to the experiences of Black students and working to provide safe, anti-racist spaces in PWIs.
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The angry Black girl stereotype
The "angry Black girl" stereotype is a pervasive and harmful trope that has been internalized and perpetuated within society. This stereotype often portrays Black girls and women as aggressive, overly emotional, or hostile, which can have detrimental effects on how they are treated and perceived in various contexts, such as in schools, workplaces, and social settings. This stereotype is particularly damaging when it leads to the suppression of emotions and the invalidation of their experiences.
In the context of the article "Don't Tell Me to Calm Down," the author shares their personal experiences as a Black girl attending predominantly white institutions (PWIs). They describe the pressure to assimilate and conform to white standards of expression and behavior to avoid being perceived as the "angry Black girl." This involves downplaying their emotions and suppressing their anger to fit into a space where they are already a minority. The author's search history entries, such as "How to glow up as a black girl" and "I hate my 4C Hair," reflect the internalization of these stereotypes and the resulting self-blame and dissatisfaction.
The media also plays a significant role in perpetuating the "angry Black girl" stereotype. The author mentions the lack of representation in teen movies and social media, where Black girls are often relegated to side characters or portrayed in a limited and stereotypical manner. This contributes to a sense of isolation and reinforces the idea that their experiences and emotions are not valid or worthy of attention. The constant influx of media that fails to represent their stories and struggles can take a toll on their self-esteem and sense of belonging.
Additionally, the article highlights the complex expectations placed on Black women, who are often put on a pedestal as "strong, Black queens" while simultaneously facing stereotypes of struggle and hyper-independence. This dichotomy leaves them with little room to express their emotions freely without being judged or questioned. The author's resistance to being told to "calm down" is a rejection of the notion that their emotions should be suppressed or that their struggles are insignificant.
To address the "angry Black girl" stereotype, it is crucial to acknowledge and challenge the underlying racism and bias that contribute to its perpetuation. Creating safe spaces for Black girls and women to express their emotions, seeking diverse representation in media, and dismantling the "strong Black woman" myth are essential steps toward breaking free from this harmful stereotype. By recognizing the validity of their experiences and emotions, society can move towards a more inclusive and empathetic understanding of Black girls and women.
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The media's lack of representation of Black girls
Black girls and women are often expected to conform to the "strong Black woman" stereotype, which suggests that they are inherently resilient and capable of enduring any hardship. While this may seem like a positive portrayal, it can be incredibly detrimental. This stereotype places an immense burden on Black women, who are expected to be invulnerable and are often not afforded the space to express their emotions or ask for help. As a result, their struggles may be overlooked or minimized, and they may be expected to "calm down" or "not let things get to them."
The media's lack of representation also contributes to the erasure of Black girls' and women's experiences in predominantly white spaces. In media such as teen movies, Black characters are often relegated to side roles, if they are included at all. This can make Black girls and women feel invisible and as if their experiences are not worthy of being shared or celebrated. It can also contribute to a sense of isolation and the belief that they must assimilate to predominantly white standards to be accepted.
The lack of representation in the media can have a profound impact on the self-esteem and mental health of Black girls and women. They may internalize the message that their experiences are not valid or worthy of attention, leading to feelings of shame and self-doubt. Additionally, the constant influx of media that does not represent them can take a toll on their well-being, as they constantly navigate spaces where they do not see themselves reflected.
It is crucial that the media recognizes the diversity of the Black community and works to represent a wide range of experiences. This includes centering Black voices and creators and ensuring that Black girls and women are portrayed as fully realized characters with their own unique stories, rather than being reduced to stereotypes or side characters. Only then can we begin to dismantle the harmful narratives that have been perpetuated for far too long.
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The strong Black woman trope
The "strong Black woman" trope is a pervasive and damaging stereotype that has negatively impacted Black women for centuries. The stereotype, which stems from the days of slavery, portrays Black women as emotionally restrained, independent, and caretaking. These characteristics are often portrayed as positive attributes, placing Black women on a pedestal for their strength and resilience. While it may seem complimentary, this trope sets an unrealistic standard for all Black women to live up to and fails to acknowledge their range of emotions and experiences.
The "strong Black woman" trope is a harmful stereotype that has been internalized by both Black and non-Black individuals. It dictates that Black women must be strong, independent, and capable of handling any challenge without support. This expectation of emotional restraint and self-sacrifice can lead to the suppression of emotions, as Black women are afraid of being perceived as ""the angry Black woman." This stereotype is particularly damaging in healthcare, where Black women's pain and health concerns may be dismissed or downplayed due to the belief that they can endure anything.
The "strong Black woman" trope also contributes to the objectification and sexualization of Black women. The Jezebel stereotype, one of the harmful stereotypes associated with the "strong Black woman" schema, portrays Black women as sexually promiscuous and hypersexual. This stereotype devalues their intellect and abilities, reducing their worth to their physical appearance and feeding into the objectification of their bodies. This sexualization of Black women further contributes to the expectation of emotional restraint, as openly expressing emotions might conflict with the sexualized image expected of them.
The mammy stereotype is another harmful aspect of the "strong Black woman" trope. The "mammy" is portrayed as the ultimate symbol of maternal devotion, responsible for household activities and caring for children. This stereotype, which originated during slavery, expected Black women to provide and care for others without complaint. The "mammy" stereotype enforces the belief that Black women are inherently submissive, docile, and devoid of their own desires and ambitions, further contributing to the expectation that they should always put others before themselves.
The impact of the "strong Black woman" trope on the mental health of Black women cannot be overstated. The constant pressure to live up to an unrealistic standard and the suppression of emotions can lead to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues. Black women may feel that they cannot ask for help or express vulnerability due to the expectation of strength and independence. This can lead to isolation and a sense of not being good enough, further exacerbating mental health struggles.
It is important to recognize the harm caused by the "strong Black woman" trope and actively work to dismantle it. By acknowledging the range of emotions, experiences, and identities of Black women, we can create spaces that celebrate their diversity and humanity. Initiatives like Tricia Hersey's napping ministry encourage Black women to prioritize rest and self-care, challenging the notion that they must constantly be strong and independent. By embracing their right to express emotions and seek support, Black women can break free from the constraints of this damaging stereotype and define their own standards of womanhood.
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The pushback against Black women who live life leisurely
The phrase "don't tell me to calm down" has been used to explore the experiences of Black women and the expectations placed on them in society. In an article in the Empire State Tribune, the author shares their experiences as a Black woman and the internalized message to "calm down" and not express their feelings fully, particularly in predominantly white spaces. This is done to avoid being perceived as the "angry Black girl" or "angry Black woman."
The media and popular culture often contribute to this stereotype by rarely featuring Black girls as main characters, further exacerbating feelings of not being represented or understood. Black women are often expected to assimilate and not be "too much," "too expressive," or "too bold." They are faced with the challenge of shrinking themselves to fit into these spaces, which can take a toll on their emotional well-being.
However, the article also highlights the pushback that occurs when Black women try to set down the burden of these expectations. The image of the "strong Black woman" or "strong, Black queen" is often used to dismiss their struggles and invalidate their experiences. The author of the article notes that the portrayal of Black women as constantly struggling, disdainful, or hyper-independent leads to questioning and judgment when a Black woman simply lives her life leisurely.
This pushback creates a complex dynamic where Black women are expected to embody strength and resilience while also being denied the space to express their emotions and live their lives freely. It underscores the need for a shift in societal perceptions and representations of Black women, allowing them to exist and express themselves beyond the confines of stereotypes and expectations.
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Frequently asked questions
"Don't Tell Me to Calm Down" is an article published in the Empire State Tribune by an anonymous writer.
The article talks about the author's experience of growing up as a Black woman in predominantly white institutions (PWIs) and the pressure to assimilate and not be "too much". The author also discusses the portrayal of Black women in the media and how it can be damaging.
The author mentions feeling left out and not represented in teen movies and social media, as well as being told to "calm down" and not let things get to them. They also talk about the stereotype of the "strong Black woman" and how it can be harmful.
The article is written for a general audience, but it specifically addresses people who may be unaware of the experiences of Black women in PWIs. The author also offers advice to those who perpetuate the "strong Black woman" stereotype, encouraging them to reach out and listen.
