Mia Patel
Choking during sex is a relatively common kink that can heighten pleasure and intensify orgasms for women. However, it is important to approach this act with caution as it can be dangerous if not performed safely. The majority of women have either tried or are open to trying choking, but it is important to communicate and obtain consent from your partner before engaging in any form of choking or breath play. Here are some tips to properly choke your partner during sex while minimizing the risks involved.
| Characteristics | Values |
|---|---|
| What most people want from choking | To feel controlled |
| Safe alternatives to choking | Covering the mouth with your hand; grabbing hair; wrapping an arm around the shoulder |
| Safe alternative to choking with a gas mask | Covering the breathing hole with the flat of your hand |
| Safe alternative to choking in stage combat | Safe chokeholds where no pressure is placed on the neck |
| Risks of choking | Affecting the brain and heart; dangerous if the bottom has underlying health issues |
| Safeword effectiveness | Doubted by some when the recipient's larynx is being compromised |
| Choking as part of sex | Can lead to orgasm more easily when the woman loses control and feels dominated |
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What You'll Learn
Safe choking methods
Choking during sex can heighten sexual arousal and make orgasms more intense for some people. However, it is important to note that there is no 100% safe way to practice breath play, and it can be deadly if proper precautions are not taken. Here are some relatively safer ways to engage in choking during sex:
- Communicate and set boundaries: Before engaging in choking, have an open and detailed conversation with your partner about your interests and boundaries. Establish consent and ensure that both partners are comfortable with the act.
- Learn the anatomy: Take time to understand the anatomy of the neck, head, and chest. This will help you know the limits of pressure and force and highlight the importance of proper hand placement. The carotid artery, which runs down the throat to the chest, is the point you want to target. Apply light, pulsing pressure slightly below the partner's jawline, closer to the ear than the chin.
- Use non-verbal cues: Create a set of non-verbal cues or a safe word that your partner can use to indicate increasing or decreasing pressure or stopping the act altogether. For example, they could hold something in their hand, like keys, and drop it when they want to stop.
- Avoid forceful pressure: Do not lean into the choke with a tight grip or forceful pressure. Use your palm to avoid hitting your partner's windpipe, and do not pull their neck to the side. Only increase pressure if your partner asks or gestures for more.
- Be mindful of their body: Do not use your partner's neck to move them. If you want them to change position, use their legs or arms instead. Remember that the throat is sensitive and not meant to support your body weight.
Remember, choking during sex carries significant risks, including irregular heart rate, cardiac arrest, brain damage from lack of oxygen, and even death. It is crucial to be informed, cautious, and respectful of your partner's boundaries at all times.
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Alternatives to choking
Choking during sex, also known as erotic asphyxiation (EA), is a dangerous activity that can lead to serious physical and mental health issues, and even death. It involves restricting oxygen to the brain, which can cause lightheadedness or dizziness. While some people find it exciting, it is important to be aware of the risks involved and consider alternative ways to enhance sexual pleasure.
- Communication: Talking about desires, boundaries, and consent is crucial. Discussing fantasies, preferences, and limits can help create a safe and exciting sexual environment. Being open about what you and your partner enjoy can lead to a more fulfilling sexual experience.
- Power dynamics: Exploring power dynamics in a safer way can be done through role-playing or fantasy scenarios that do not involve choking. For example, you could try light bondage with handcuffs or restraints that do not restrict breathing. This can create a sense of dominance and submission without the risks associated with choking.
- Sensation play: Experimenting with different sensations can enhance sexual pleasure. Try using feathers, ice cubes, or silk scarves to stimulate your partner's skin. You can also incorporate temperature play by using warm or cool objects to create unique sensations.
- Erotic massage: Massage can be a powerful way to connect physically and emotionally with your partner. Using massage oils or lotions, take time to explore your partner's body, focusing on their erogenous zones. This can increase intimacy and arousal while also providing a sense of relaxation and pleasure.
- Breath play without choking: If you are interested in exploring breath play, there are safer alternatives to choking. For example, you can try breath control exercises together, such as deep breathing or breath holding challenges, that do not involve physical restriction.
Remember, it is always important to prioritize safety and consent in sexual activities. Communicate openly with your partner, respect their boundaries, and be mindful of the potential risks associated with any practice you choose to explore.
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The throat and sex
Erotic asphyxiation (EA) or sexual choking involves intentionally restricting oxygen to the brain to heighten sexual arousal and make orgasms more intense. This is achieved by placing pressure on the throat, cutting off access to oxygen, or placing a bag over the head.
During choking, the body may experience a rush of endorphins and hormones, causing a head-spinning exhilaration. This can be further intensified when the pressure is released and oxygen and blood begin to flow again. This dynamic provides a second layer of sexual arousal for some people. However, choking during sex is not without its risks. Restricting oxygen can lead to coughing, gasping, difficulty swallowing and breathing, vision changes, and even death. It is estimated to cause 250-1000 deaths per year in the United States alone. Other risks include broken blood vessels in the face, a hoarse voice, depression, anxiety, miscarriage, and memory problems. The risks are greater for individuals with health conditions like high blood pressure and high cholesterol.
Sexual choking should always be consensual and discussed beforehand. Consent should be given out loud and not while under the influence of any substances or impaired in any way. It is important to note that nonconsensual choking during sex is a form of violence and is unlawful.
While choking may be portrayed in pornography, it is important to recognize that it is a dangerous activity that can have severe physical, mental, and emotional consequences. As such, pornography depicting choking will be criminalized in an amendment to the Crime and Policing Bill.
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Dominance and submission
Choking during sex is a form of sexual dominance and submission that has gained prominence in recent years. It involves creating the impression of choking to induce a sense of vulnerability and loss of control in the choked partner, enhancing their orgasm. However, it is not for everyone, and it is important to first gauge your partner's interest and establish consent.
To properly choke your partner, you must understand the anatomy of the throat. The throat is a complex area with vital structures, including the larynx, oesophagus, carotid arteries, and jugular vein. The goal is to restrict blood flow to the brain by applying pressure to the carotid arteries, which run down the sides of the throat, slightly below the jawline, closer to the ears than the chin.
It is crucial to start slowly and gently, testing your partner's reaction and comfort level. Rest your hands near their neck, where the collarbone and neck meet, without applying any pressure. If your partner is receptive, they may push their neck towards you or lift their collarbone, inviting you to advance. Always verbally check in with your partner to ensure they are comfortable and consenting.
Once you have established consent and your partner's interest, you can gradually increase the pressure on the carotid arteries. It is important to maintain eye contact and avoid leaning your body weight onto your partner's throat. Do not increase the pressure or duration of the choke, especially if it is your first time. Designate a safe word or gesture for your partner to communicate their comfort level and direct the intensity.
Choking can be a dangerous act, and it is important to learn proper techniques and precautions to ensure your partner's safety. It is a form of power play that induces fear and a sense of helplessness in the choked partner, enhancing their arousal and orgasm. By dominating your partner through choking, you can intensify their pleasure and create a deeper sense of submission.
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Safe words
Choking during sex is a dangerous activity that can lead to severe physical and mental health issues, and even death. It is not uncommon to feel loneliness, depression, or anxiety after being choked. Therefore, it is important to establish enthusiastic consent and be aware of the risks involved.
Some examples of safe words include a common safety action of quickly shaking your head "no" to indicate that the choking needs to stop immediately. Repeatedly tapping your partner, as one does when wrestling, is another way to indicate that the choking needs to cease. You can also designate certain gestures or verbal cues for your partner to use to increase or decrease pressure. Hand signals can be useful if your airway is restricted and talking isn't possible. For example, a raised fist could be a signal to stop.
It is important to note that there is no completely safe way to choke or be choked. However, by using safe words and signals, partners can help ensure that everyone is enjoying the sexual encounter and that it remains a consensual, controlled environment.
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Frequently asked questions
Communication is key. Ask your partner directly if they are interested in choking and respect their answer.
Wrapping your hands around your partner's neck is the most dangerous form of breath control/play and cannot be done safely. Instead, cover your partner's mouth with your hand or put your arm around their shoulder. If you want to incorporate a choking device, consider using a gas mask.
If your partner is unable to shake their head to signal that they need a breath, stop choking them immediately.
